| Happy Birthday to me. I live in a tree. |
[18 Dec 2011|01:22pm] |
So, yesterday was my birthday. And no one but Nate really said anything...I think I really am falling for him. I don't know how he honestly remembered. I'm pretty sure I only mentioned it once weeks ago when he asked.
I'm legal to go out and drink at last!
That being said? Who wants to go out with me to drink?
Private to Drew:
If you want, I could pick us up some Sake and we can hang out? No Nate, I promise. He's so on edge lately...I've been trying to encourage him to burn it off, punch it out at the gym, anything so he doesn't seem like he's going to snap and chew my face off my skull.
He won't tell me what's really wrong. He's playing cryptic about it- saying something about a rogue male lion that he needs to 'deal with'. I guess I have no right to be worried.
Anyway, I miss you, Drew. I know you've been spending time with the other guys but I really liked our days together.
Can I have some of those back?
Arigato,
Die.
End Private
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[17 Dec 2011|07:36pm] |
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I really don't know if I've gotten the right gift on this one. I mean, I'm not exactly mister money bags or anything, but I hope it counts.
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| Somebody get me through this nightmare. |
[13 Nov 2011|02:20am] |
I think I might have fucked up my shoulder...Or my arm, maybe.
I just know it hurts. I think it'll hurt worse if Nate finds out.
Maybe I'm just training too hard- or too angry.
I feel like there's something coming lose inside of me, trying to break out and all that comes with it is this deep, dark anger that I can't get a damned grip on.
My knuckles are bruised. I know I shouldn't go this hard- much less punch anything outside the gym- but I couldn't help it. I'm eating more, being more protective, aggressive. I know this side of me and I hate it.
This feels like one big explosion waiting to happen unless I release the pressure somehow.
Training helps.
Perhaps I just need to chill out again. Drink some coffee, listen to the rain.
I'm usually so collected and organized but this feels like a hurricane. How do you fix that?
Private to Nate:
I hear talk that you know how to handle being different.
I've never...I haven't let myself out of this damned cage for so long.
The full moon is coming around and I'm itching- I feel like I could just tear myself apart.
I can't be in town when that happens, Nate. Not unless you've got some kinda private situation that can hold me while I work off the rage but I can't just lay that all on you.
I really don't know what I'm asking for. Gomen.
I think I just need some kind of sound advice.
End Private.
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| IC Contact Post |
[11 Nov 2011|02:33am] |
Voice Mail
"Moshi Moshi! Gomen, I couldn't answer the phone right now. Leave me a message, hai? I will get back to you soon!"
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[09 Nov 2011|06:20pm] |
One more depending on a prayer, and we all look away.
People pretending everywhere- it's just another day.
There's bullets flying through the air, and they still carry on.
We watch it happen- over there- and then just turn it off!
They tell us everything's alright, and we just go along.
How can we fall asleep at night, when something's clearly wrong?
When we could feed a starving world, with what we throw away?
But all we serve are empty words...
That always taste the same.
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